Guest post: C. writes about us
Yesterday I asked C. if he would like to write a guest post for my blog. The topic I suggested him was: Differences between dating a Chinese girl and a foreigner. I told him to think about it and, if he felt like writing something, I would publish it. 30 minutes later I had the following text in my inbox. I didn’t know he was so anxious to appear on my blog! The text is not exactly what I had in mind and answers my question just in part, but I thought it would make a nice guest post anyway. Ladies and gentlemen, this is C. speaking about a little bit of everything, mostly about our relationship. My comments are included in italics.
Someone told me before, “You should be close to those people who will give you positive energe, and stay away from those people who will give you negative influence.“
At that time, I met Marta, who pulled me out of the worst period of my life and gave me a complete different life style and what is most important, hope.
I don’t want to talk about the details on the mess I experienced at that time, you know, another story about a failed relationship.
I had nearly lost everything.
At that very desperate night, I was moving out from my old house. Marta found me, as a stranger through a popular social APP at that time. [Maybe I will write a post telling how we met!].
At that moment, that condition made me enter the mode of ‘POURING OUT THE STORY’. I could not wait to find someone who would listen to my sad story. But what I didn’t expect was that my sad story could get another sad story inexchange. And what’s more, I still can remember clearly even today, that sentence of ‘我们可以抱着一起哭’. [That is something I said. “Let’s hug and cry together” (over both our sad stories)]. But actually we didn’t. I became much happier than the past 30 years of my life. There is no reason to cry any more.
Let’s move to our happy life after the short recall of the sadness.
You know, I have a Spanish girlfriend now. I still remember mom used to make fun of me when I was a kid, ‘Hey, my pretty little boy, when you grow up please do not find me a foreign daughter-in-law , mom cannot speak English, we wouldn’t be able to communicate, hahaha’. [I didn’t know this!! She really told you that when you were a kid??].
Sorry mom, now I got you a Spanish daughter-in-law. But fortunately, she can speak Mandrin, and very well :)
After being together with Marta, I entered an entire different world. THE DEMOCRACY WORLD!! Sorry, just kidding.
But Marta really has influenced some part of my world outlook and values.
Growing up in this fast developing China, more and more Chinese people become so materialistic, it has nearly become the common sense of the Chinese society.
If you want to marry a Chinese girl, you as a boy should prepare at least a house and a car; the boyfriend should pay for everything when going out with a Chinese girl, even when she is not your girlfriend; happy life means a lot of money; and so on.
Frankly speaking, I was also stuck into these as a Chinese.
But Marta changed my point of view. She knows what is the real happy life, she prefers traveling to different countries rather than buying a CHANEL, she thinks we do not need to buy a house of our own(sorry but that is still one of my short-term aims), she prefers walking more than driving a car, she is so kind and so nice to every member of my family, she is always so kind and polite, and she loves music.
Before we got together, I spent most of my daily life working, playing video games, sleeping and such things to kill time. But now, we have been to several countries, we have different travel plans every year (Marta is good at planning such things, like a travel agent). I have seen different cultures and places I hadn’t paid attention to before. And we take online MOOC courses together. I have recaught the desire of learning new knowledge.
If someone asks if there is a culture gap between us, the answer is of course there is. But fortunately, we both could get used to different cultures easily.
Life needs mutual understanding, right?
Aw, such a cute post. I had a big smile on my face while reading it. And I would love the read the story of how you two met. :)
Thanks Feifei! I will write a post about it when I feel inspired.
Reading this makes me feel so happy. My MIL doesn’t speak English, but I think she likes me to be her DIL because she knows I won’t control the money my husband earns, so there will be at least one son taking care of them^^. This is so different from my culture, where DILs fear MILs because MILs are supposed to interfere in the couple life the whole time XD
Hi Nuria,
Thanks for your comment. So how do you communicate with your MIL?
I think MILs are feared in all countries, haha.
That was really wonderful to read. He paints a very vivid picture of how his life has changed, how much you mean to him. I also smiled at the end of reading it.
Thank you Yael! In fact I was thinking that he didn’t mention the most obvious change… he has gained almost 10 kg since we met, haha. But it is a good thing! He was so skinny before.
Even though I am a guy I must say it is a wonderful article :)
C. says Thanks :) But I don’t understand what it has to do with being a guy! haha ;)
This is so sweet and touching. Marta, he’s a keeper!
Haha, thanks Jocelyn. And thanks for sharing it ;)
Marta Marta…you took advantage of him when he was in a weak moment!
Just kidding..! ;)
My mother in law used to tell my husband to hold the chopsticks in the right way telling him that if he didn’t leave some more distance he would only be able to find a wife in that neighbourhood, but if he could used the chopsticks like adults do (fingers far from food) then he could even have a foreign wife!
And now she laughs at that! ;)
Haha, it was him taking advantage on me!! I just wanted to be friends x)
I had heard that saying about the chopsticks but I understood that if you hold them far from the food it meant your home was far away! Maybe I confused 家 and 嫁? I’m not sure now!
CUTE!
awww, that’s so cute! C. is definitely a keeper Marta! Hope you will write about how you guys met one time :D Wish I could ChenChen to write a post on my blog .. >.< haha
Haha, you should ask him! Maybe he is more eager than you think :D
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Nice to see other Chinese realising that consumerism taking hold in China isn’t so positive… it’s great you have such a positive influence on him, you seem to have changed him compeltely from hermit geek to an outgoing traveller!
Well I don’t think I completely changed him, I just showed him a different way of life… I think most Chinese young people just settle after they get married and their life becomes work, family, pay the mortgage and nothing else.
aaaww, sweet post, you two are made for each other!
Very nice post!! You must feel very special when you read what he had written!! It was absolutely sweet and beautiful!!
As a side note, I think living abroad changes your perspective about what is important!!!
This is so sweet!
Hearing it from both sides is pretty neat. Y’all seem so great together :)
Wooo! You have so many readers here! I agree with them, this a cute story and C is a good catch! …You took advantage of the situation… :D
Oh, why wordpress gave me such an angry face?? o-O
Marta, I think you have find the blue prince, haven’t you?
Well he’s more white than blue :D
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