Don’t leave your boyfriend home alone

I am serious. Don’t ever leave your boyfriend alone at home. If you do, make sure he doesn’t have access to the internet and/or a credit card ready to use. Because when you come back you will find something like this:

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Ugliest cup ever!!

 

As you must have heard by now (because I’ve said it a hundred times), from Monday to Thursday I live in Shanghai. I go back to Suzhou on Friday evening. This means C. has to spend four nights alone. And this, my friends, is dangerous, because he knows how to use Taobao. And when he is bored, he buys stuff. Every Friday evening I open our apartment door and I am scared to look around and discover what new things he bought without consulting with me first.

Everything started when he bought a washing machine (this is ok, we needed it). The online store owner sent him a coffee machine as a gift. “¡Great!”, I told him. “Now you can buy ground coffee and use this machine”. The next weekend, I couldn’t help laughing when I saw this:

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“Seriously? Why did you buy a grinder? No one grinds their own coffee, everybody buys it ground already!”. Then he told me that ground coffee was more expensive than coffee beans. Right… now you have to grind coffee beans every time you want to drink a cup of coffee!

But this was not the worst part. Then I checked the cupboards and I saw the white cups from the first picture. Oh. My. God. Not even my grandma had such ugly and old-fashioned cups. And the little dishes? “Why did you buy this??”. We didn’t even need more cups, we had several already. He said he was buying something else from a store and suddenly felt we needed more cups and these were the only ones that store had. And what was he buying from that store that only had one model of cups? Well, something that we never use anyway… those little things to put your chopsticks on! What are we, a fancy restaurant? We have never had that before! So now we have that, and I’m stuck with the ugliest cups ever!

I should also tell the story of how we almost fought because of our bedroom lamps. You know the small lamps you put on each bedside table, right? They are supposed to be the same model. Well, we couldn’t agree on which ones to buy  so I just told him “Buy whichever you want” and he ended up buying two different ones. Now we have two completely different bedside lamps! One is white and transparent and the other is turquoise blue!

He has the worst taste in furniture EVER but I have to love him anyway!

He has the worst taste in furniture EVER but I have to love him anyway!

 

Taobao should have a safety measure in which the wife/girlfriend needs to approve all the purchases made by her partner! I am going to write a letter to Jack Ma and suggest it!

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