Our short-distance relationship

February 2, 2015

After 2 years living with C. in Suzhou, I found my dream job in Shanghai at the end of November last year. Suzhou is only about 80 km and 40 minutes by high speed train from Shanghai, so in theory it would be possible to work in Shanghai and go back home in Suzhou every day. However this would imply a commuting time of more than 3 hours (including the time it takes to get to and from the train station) so I decided to find a room in Shanghai and go back to Suzhou only on the weekends.

But how would that affect our relationship? Would we miss each other too much? Would we find it hard to live apart 4 nights a week? It was challenging, but I really wanted this job. So we had to give it a try.

Now, two months later, I can finally say: it is completely fine. I don’t even have time to miss him. Does this mean I am a cold, selfish bitch? I don’t think so! So let me elaborate:

 

– We are so busy we don’t even realize we are living apart

Being busy is a blessing in disguise. My mind is always occupied with something so I don’t have time to think I miss my boyfriend. I spend 8 hours in the office, sometimes even more, and I’m completely focused on what I’m doing (after so many years I have a job that I like, so I’m in heaven!). I have lunch with my colleagues. In the evening I have blogs to update, lessons to study and books to read. Does this mean I don’t contact my boyfriend at all? No, keep reading!

 

– We text each other all the time

Hooray for WeChat! On the (frequent) micro breaks I take at work there will always be some message from him. Small things like “I am having lunch”, or comments about some piece of news from the internet. Also, the emoticons in WeChat always make me laugh. My favourite ones are the pervert smile and the yelling face. The yelling face is very useful when you find out your boyfriend bought the ugliest cups ever in your absence.

Pervert smile and yelling face.

 

– We videochat in the evenings

WeChat also has the option to videochat (it seems this is going to end up as a WeChat commercial!). It is perfect to see each other in the evening and exchange information about the quantity and quality of your dog’s droppings that day (yes, we really talk about that! Nico‘s intestinal transit is of utmost importance in our little family!). But we also talk about other things!

Nico also videochats with me.

 

– Sometimes he has meetings in Shanghai

As I said, Shanghai is really close. C. has meetings here once every one or two weeks. On those occasions we can have lunch or dinner together! We can try new food that we never eat in Suzhou. For example, one day we had dinner at the Brazilian restaurant close to Jing’An Temple.

Selfie with Jing’An Temple in the background.

 

– Time really flies

It is said that the older you get, the faster time passes. Well, I must be on the verge of retiring because days fly in front of the eyes and I don’t even notice. Every Wednesday (the day I buy my train tickets for the weekend) I think: “How come it is Wednesday again?”. Every Friday, when I have to take my small suitcase to the office because I will be going directly to the train station from there, I think: “Friday already? But it was Tuesday just now!”. So, if you think about it, it is always the weekend!

 

– When you see each other, you really feel like being together

Sometimes we take our relationships for granted. Being away during the week makes us want to do even more things together during the weekend!

 

Having a short-distance relationship is definitely doable. You get to see each other after fou or five days! While this wouldn’t even be an option if we had kids, now that it is only the two of us (and Nico) I can be a little bit selfish and concentrate on my career. And in a couple of years… we’ll see.

 

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