How many AMWF couples have you met?
A little more than a year ago I didn’t know the acronym AMWF and the concept behind it existed. I had been dating my Chinese boyfriend for some time and I had noticed I didn’t see many Western girl – Chinese guy couples on the street, but I never really thought too much about it. Then one day, searching on the internet for something that didn’t have anything to do with dating Asian men I came across one blog, and then another, and I learned what AMWF meant.
AMWF (Asian Male, Western Female) couples are not too abundant. I agreed with that. However, when I started thinking about it, I realized I had met several such couples in my life. Today I want to recount the AMWF couples I have met or known about in real life and what I know about them.
(All the names have been changed except the ones of my favourite AMWF couple, whose permission I got for this article).
Merche & Hiroki
This was the first AMWF couple I met, or at least the first I can remember. I was 18 at that time. She was from Granada, the southern Spanish city where I attended university, and he was a Japanese who grew up in Spain. Upon meeting them I didn’t think it was weird that a cute girl was dating an Asian. In fact I thought he was handsome and they were a cool couple. They were together for several years and later broke up.
Sonia & Hong
She was from my university back in Spain and came to China a year before me. She started dating a Chinese guy in Beijing. I never met the guy but I know they broke up after maybe a year.
Pepe & Lorena
He was a Chinese guy raised in Spain who attended Mandarin lessons in my faculty when I started studying the language. He was a little bit creepy, slobbering all over all the girls, and he finally succeeded and starting dating some girl from our faculty. Too many public displays of affection in the faculty corridors ensued.
Eloísa & Zheng
She was a Spanish woman I met in Beijing when I was studying there. He was Chinese. They were in their early thirties, I think, and had been together for several years. She could speak Mandarin. I lost contact with them so I don’t know their current situation.
Paula & Kim
She was the friend of my friend and I met her at my friend’s birthday in my hometown. Her boyfriend was a Korean guy that grew up in Spain. They might still be together.
Mónica & Donnie
She was my classmate when I was attending university in Granada. She went to the US for an exchange and met an American-Taiwanese guy. They started dating and even lived together for some time. However she had visa problems and had to go back to Spain. They are not together anymore. She told me his mother hated her.
Bárbara & Li
She contacted me a few years ago asking for information about studying in China. Then she came to Shanghai once and I met her and her boyfriend, a Chinese guy who grew up in Spain. Later she came to China to study. I am not aware of their current situation.
Gemma & Bob
She was a Spanish girl who attended my same university in Beijing. He was a Korean guy whom she had met previously in another city in China. They were together for several years and she even went to meet his family in Korea. They broke up later and he married a Korean girl after some time.
Laura & Jeong
Also one of my Spanish classmates in Beijing. She was with this Korean guy for a couple of years. After they broke up she also dated a Chinese man, but not for too long.
He You & Tilda
He was a guy from Beijing who I met through a friend. He started dating a girl from Sweden and later moved there. They have a son now but I am not sure they are still together.
Lola & Jang
I studied together with Lola in Spain and also in Beijing. Jang was her Korean classmate. They were together for several years, at least two of them long distance. After 2 years living together in the north of China she broke up with him because she couldn’t cope with cultural differences any more (him not expressing his feelings, going out to drink with his boss every day, etc).
Anna & Jeff
My favourite AMWF couple! Anna met Jeff when we were studying in Beijing. She is Spanish, he is Filipino. I witnessed their relationship from the beginning! Jeff knew from day one she was the woman of his life; she was dating another guy at the time and wasn’t so sure about Jeff. Fast forward a few years and they are now living in Cebu, Philippines, and have a beautiful baby daughter, Alina, who is now 17 months old.
Jeff, Anna and baby Alina when she was 2 months old and we went to visit them in Cebu.
Jennifer & Chen
She was another of our classmates in Beijing. She is German and she married a Chinese man a few years ago. They started dating in Germany and moved back to Beijing last year, I think.
Mona & Du
Another classmate from Beijing! Mona was Turkish and she married a Chinese man. I don’t really have contact with her but I saw their pictures on Facebook.
Nerea & Cheung
I didn’t really know them, but I saw them in Beijing sometimes. She was a Spanish girl and he was from Hong Kong. I think they opened a business together. Don’t really know much.
Let me count… 15 couples! Not bad, uh? I still have to add two more, as in my office there are other two AMWF couples apart from myself! Both girls are German, one is dating a HongKongnese-American guy and the other is married to a Chinese.
So those are the AMWF couples I have met in real life, or at least the ones I remember now.
Have you met many AMWF couples? I would love to read your comments!
I saw THREE AMWF couples just a few weeks ago, all in the same bakery/ restaurant. I think that’s more than I had seen in the last 10 years. The times, they are a changing’!
I see WMAF couples in LA all the time, though. Always have.
Yes, in China you can see WMAF all the time haha. Last week in Shanghai I saw an AMWF couple in the street, in total I might have seen around 10 in the last year. Yay!
I honestly don’t know many AMWF couples, other than all of the ones I know online :P that couple who have you permission have such a cute baby!!!
Yeees! Baby Alina is extremely cute, now she is bigger and has more hair hahaha.
I also didn’t know whatAMWF means till I started blogging myself. From my university time in Finland I met many of those couples and I didn’t even thought back then that it is something special or rare as there were just so many oft them! Half of the Asian guys in my courses were together or even married to Finnish women and to read now in the past years how hard it is apparently for them it is even more surprising that it seemed to normal back then
Cool! Were there a lot of Asian guys studying at your school? I don’t think we get many Asian students in Spain, out universities are not that famous…
Yeah, the courses were always filled its Asians. I do dare to say that over half of our foreign students were from Asian countries furthermore more than half of all students were foreigner at our universit
I didn’t know what AMWF meant until I was missing my fiancé while he was back in Japan, and I started looking for blogs about international couples. I’ve found a lot of blogs, YouTube channels, etc. online about AMWF, but in my personal acquaintance I know surprisingly few AMWF couples. You know so many couples! The majority of Asian/white couples I know are with the guy being white and the girl being white. If I actually take the time to think about it, it’s surprising because I grew up in such a diverse place with friends from all over the world.
I think it’s great that international couples of all origins are increasing, reflecting the globalisation of our world!
Well these are the couples I could think of that I met during the last 12 years… not so many if you think it that way haha. But still, in Spain there is not a big Asian population and I could still meet some so that is good :)
True, but in my lifetime I think I can count the number of couples I know on one hand, and not all of them are still together. I think it’s great that there are so many in Spain!
wow you met a lot of AMWF couples! Even though I lived in Asia for quite a while now, I only met two other AMWF couples in my life.
1. Eva and Lu: she is Italian and he is Chinese, they met in Beijing and now live together there.
2. Sara and Phil: she is Italian and he is from Hong Kong. They met in Bristol, got married, lived in HK for a short stint and now they are back in the UK. I even wrote about Sara and Phil on my blog on one of my early posts!
That’s it. I really don’t have much experience about meeting AMWF couples in real life! Let’s hope I will have chance to meet more of them in the future!
Thanks for your contribution! :D For me the most surprising fact is that there are 3 AMWF couples in my office (well, only the girls work here but you know what I mean). We are only 5 white girls in total and 3 of us are dating/married to Asians!
Really?! That is crazy considering the rarity of AMWF couples..
You are very lucky though! It must be nice to be surrounded by women who share a similar experience..
Well to be honest I never talked about our relationships with them… haha!
Wow! You have met a lot of AMWF couples. I actually met my first [and probably my only] AMWF couple when I was in university, way before I ever thought about moving to Taiwan. My good friend was dating a Chinese guy and they are now happily married. It was actually very challenging for them from time to time because of the comments they received from random people.
Another thing that surprised me when I found out about the AMWF tag is that I have never received mean comments or anything from other people… nor was I aware that any of the couples that I mentioned did!
I know it is very sad. We have never received any negative comments either but unfortunately they did. However, that was a long time ago.
I’m not big on acronyms but have oodles of examples of both AMWF / WMAF in my life.
Perhaps it the Canada I grew up in where this was just well.. relatively normal! My sister’s first boyfriend was from Laos. My first serious relationship was with a guy from the Philippines (7 years off n on n off). My partner is Anglo-Indian and we live together in Bombay. Heck my parents have AMWF friends who must be near their 50th wedding anniversary!
If I then add to the equation all the couples I’ve known over the years, including the relationships that didn’t work out… well it would be a boringly long list! From the Russian maashi-ma who married a Bengali dada in the 70s in CR Park, Delhi (she recently passed away) to an American woman married to a Chinese man with their young son living in Shanghai!
Hmm… am I just weird?
Hahaha not weird, maybe lucky to have been always in multicultural places ;) In the town I grew up in Spain there were not many Asians, or people from any other races in general. I only remember there was once a black girl in my secondary school, she stayed only for a few months, and then in my high school there was a Spain born Chinese girl. That was all!! So of course there were no AMWF couples.
Context is everything! We lived in a part of Winnipeg close to a University at a time when Canada did a great job of welcoming folks from all over. It was only later when I started traveling that I realised what an amazing advantage it was growing up where gobbling down samosas was as normal as lumpia or perogy!
In real life? 2. And they were both in HK (I’m from the UK). How many WMAF have I met in real life… who’s counting.
Well, it seems you counted 2 ;P
No, those were AMWF
Oh sorry, I misunderstood, thought you were saying “who’s counting AMWF”. Yes, there are definitely a lot of WMAF couples.
When I read the first few, I was thinking: “Uh oh.. this isn’t going in a very good direction..”
But I guess it is understandable. If you are getting into a relationship with someone who grew up in a totally different culture, it is probably more difficult to maintain it. Yeah, true love will conquer everything…. until real life intrudes, I guess.
Well, you also have to consider that many of these couples were very young (many people don’t end up marrying the person they date when they are in their early 20s), or both partners were in the same country only for a limited time, so it is natural that they broke up. I was not trying to imply that most AMWF relationships fail ;)
Very, very interesting topic. Personally, I know a couple of AMWF couples from Australia. It’s not a common sight on the streets.
Sad to hear some of them aren’t together anymore. When we’re young, we like new things and tend to be more adventurous, and maybe that’s a reason some of us go after a person of a different culture…and not surprisingly the relationship can fizzle out after a while. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be :)
I think in many of these couples cases, the thing was that they were too young/not really ready to be together forever. But the positive point in that all those girls were ready to give Asian guys a chance! :)
I only saw three AMWW couples in China. One of them were an elderly couple (the WW looked quite scary with her serial killer look). xD I only saw one AMWW couple in Taiwan. Have I talked to any of them? Nah.
You, though, have met many AMWW. Wow. :)
I am always very curious about the elderly couples! They must have an interesting story :) But I never met one either.
There are plenty here in Thailand. I know it’s the other way around that gets most of the attention, but you’d be surprised. And the ones that stick out are the ones that are still going on strong, moved to England, US, had children, etc. And growing up in Hawaii? Forget it, too many to count.
Yes, I’ve heard there are a lot of mixed marriages in Hawaii! I have never been there.
I really enjoy reading your post. It keeps me positive and hopeful that one day, I too will find my China man but so far I have been looking for more than a decade and I am still single. I just don’t know how to get a China man I guess.
Nicole, don’t give up! But why does he have to be specifically Chinese? ;)
Dear Marta, I really like and love Chinese man since primary school (LOL). Their eyes, soft skin, color, hairless body are all a turn-on for me. :)
While it is more common to see a Chinese wife and Western husband, it is more common to see a Tibetan husband and a Western wife. I know waaaay more TMWF couples than WMTF couples. I will blog about it if I ever find the time!
Oh wow, that is interesting!! I would love to know more, the truth is I haven’t met any Tibetan yet (except your husband… kind of, reading about you online makes me feel I know you guys a little bit :D).
I’ve been thinking about it. . . I don’t know any in real life. I know tons of western men with Chinese wives or girlfriends, but can’t think of any foreign women that I’ve personally known who have Asian significant others. Most of my foreign female friends figure there dating life is dead while living in China. It doesn’t have to be so!
I have to confess I also used to think my dating life was going to be dead when I found myself single and in Beijing, hehe. I got the feeling Chinese guys were not interested in western girls, and western guys only had eyes for Chinese girls. Fortunately I had some chances :P
Marta you are one of the lucky one. I have been single for so long that I am losing hope to even find someone. I know that people keeps saying don’t worry but I am because I am not young anymore. I have been single since 1998 with no one to share my life. :(
I’m sorry to hear that, Nicole! But don’t lose faith! I won’ lie to you, it is indeed hard to find a guy in China if you are over 30 because they all marry young. I was told when I was 27 that I was too old to find a Chinese boyfriend!! But I did. So there will also be someone waiting for you! :)
Dear Marta, thank you for your kind words but I doubt it. I am 40+ therefore my chances are extremely limited. Anyhow, the only left is to embrace my single life. No other choice.
That is so true. I have been here for over 1 year and I only had 1-2 dates.
Holy crap that’s so many! I think I only know… one… or two…? (Of course, this doesn’t count you or all the other lovely ladies I’ve met online).
I do think the times are changing, though. I think we’ll see more in the near future!
I think so too! Korean pop bands are making more Western girls aware of Asian guys :P
AMWF is no longer the unicorn of interracial pairings! It’s more like Bigfoot now, more commonly seen, still marginalized, and, when it’s in public – stared at. I look too, but only because I think Asian male white female couples are gorgeous and usually super cute together. I’m always happy for them.
I don’t feel so stared at! Maybe I don’t even notice anymore? Or maybe people in Suzhou are very polite ;)
Hi Marta, I enjoy your blog. It could be you have black hair and it is not as noticeable. Try dyeing it blonde and you will be surprised!
I don’t think blonde would suit me! But it would definitely get more people staring at me, haha. I have noticed that in China, blonde girl equals beautiful, no matter if the girl is pretty or not xD
Pingback: 100 posts | Marta lives in China
Just came across your blog. Very interesting read. Thanks for sharing. I am AMWF and I have a friend who is also in a AMWF relationship. and the cool thing is that I met another AMWF couple recently via Instagram! I would definitely say that it’s more common now than before even though it’s still rare compare to WMAF.
Thanks for your visit, Jon! Compared to WMAF it is definitely less common, but online you can find a lot of AMWF couples and blogs!
I like your perspective on the AMWF topic. Being a Asian man, I know many guys like western women, for the impression that western women are more of their own persons and on the equal footing with men.
PS, I have no idea how I was assigned this ridiculous looking emoji and I don’t know how to change it. It is like an arranged marriage, :)!
Hahaha, I’m afraid it’s random and somehow linked to your ip, cookies or something.
Hi Marta, my Chinese husband and I have been married for 45 years.
We have 3 sons and 6 grandchildren (3 girls and 3 boys)!
Just to let you know that our AMWF relationship has worked very well. Perhaps living in the Netherlands has helped, as people here are very open and liberal.
Wishing you, your husband and little son every happiness for the future!
Thanks a lot for your comment, Emma! What a great story you have!