Guessing other people’s age
The other night we went to a massage place close to our apartment. C.’s masseuse was a chatty young woman from Henan province. She asked where I was from. “Xinjiang”, I joked. Xinjiang is a province in the west of China and, many years ago, when foreigners were a rare sight in China, Chinese people would ask if they were from Xinjiang. “Xinjiang?”. The masseuse sounded confused but seemed to believe it, which I was not expecting. Then she asked C. where he was from. “Also Xinjiang”. “Really?”, she frowned. “You don’t look like you are from Xinjiang. What are you doing in Suzhou?”. “I sell jades”, C. replied. I couldn’t help chuckling and she heard me, but the charade went on. “And how old are you? You look very young”. “I am 18”, replied C. “And she (referring to me) is 17”. I laughed again. “More like each of my legs is 17”, I said, but I don’t think she understood the joke. It is a Spanish way of speaking.
We’ve been told we look younger, but 18? Come on…
This conversation reminded me of something that happened when I was working in the Spanish pavilion at the Shanghai Expo 5 years ago. One day I was in charge of the fast-track entrance. This entrance was only for pregnant women, the disabled and old people over 75 and the idea was that they wouldn’t get tired lining up to enter the pavilion, as the queues usually were more than 2 hours waiting. Two tall male foreigners that looked perfectly healthy and in their early 60s approached and I told them they needed to line up like the “common folk”. Some foreigners would play the foreigner card to try to sneak into the pavilion without queuing, but that wasn’t going to work with me. I was firm in sending them to the normal queue. Then one of them said, “But I am 75 years old”. “Yeah, right. And I am the Wizard of Oz. I need to see some ID to verify your age”. He took out his wallet to show me his driving license. They were in a good mood, not angry at me, and I asked where they were from. “Sweden”, they said. The driving license was stuck and he couldn’t get it out. He seemed so determined that I backed down. “It is ok, I believe you, you can get in”. “No, no, I really want to show you”, he said. Then he finally got it. The birth date said 1935, he was indeed 75 years old. “Wow”, I said, “I really wouldn’t think you are 75, I thought you were like 60 at most”. He was so happy he kissed my cheeks.
I always have a hard time trying to guess people’s ages just by looking at them. In China it gets even worse: young people usually look younger to me, and old people, especially people who has worked outdoors their whole life, look older than they really are. The street sweepers in our Suzhou neighbourhood look very old, like more than 70. Once I asked C. why 70 year olds were cleaning the streets. He said they were not 70, maybe only 55. But they really looked older.
What about you? Are you good guessing other people’s ages? Do you think it is harder when they are from a different race?
I am also very bad in guessing other peoples age. For example when my wife’s grandmother and my dad stand next to each other you might think that my father is at least 15 years younger but in fact they are both the same age (granny 75 and my dad 74). It can’t be due to hard work because my father worked is entire life in factories and the past 20 odd years as a postmen out in any weather.
Either some people age better or it depends how they lead their life in later ages. Granny just makes food every day and plays mahjong, she can’t even ride a bicycle anymore because it is too hard while my father is busy with his smartphone, laptop, finding new tech online and doing bicycle tours (30to 60 km) everyday in summer time
Yes, definitely some people age better! It might have something to do with lifestyle, but also with good genes, I guess! ;)
It gets hard to guess as you get older. You realise that people who you thought were the same age as you suddenly look younger and they are! I guess is down to genetics. People think I’m younger than I look, but I’m not sure how long I can get away with it (the past weekend in France I was addressed as Madame, when a year ago Mademoiselle) but I’m happy to be mistaken for being younger than I am.
Oh no, that change is pretty traumatic! In China I passed from being called “jiejie” (elder sister, that is how kids call girls older than them) to being called “ayi” (literally Aunt… when the woman you are speaking to is the same age or older than your mother). I almost killed the first kid that called me ayi, haha.
Ha Ha! I think I would have almost killed that kid too!
It’s strange isn’t it, when we say to workout more to stay young, but those people who has been working outdoors seem to look older than they should be!
Hahaha, I guess the key is protecting your skin from the sun! Sun is an important cause of skin ageing.
I generally have a hard time working out how old people are. After a few conversations and listening to how they speak and what words they use, I do get better at guessing their age – no matter the background. However, I’ve met some twenty plus Caucasian men in Australia who are already balding at their age…and initially I thought they were much older :D
@Mabel – I agree with the balding factor. I know a guy in Canada who is one year older than me. I saw him the last time I visited and he is balding and it seems that his job as a police officer has also aged him. He looks so much older. Even my husband, who is not very observant when it comes to these kind of things, made the same remark [to me, not to the guy].
Oh, yes, many young men in Spain also start losing their hair in their 20s :/
I think guessing people’s age in Asia is nearly impossible, at least for me. Everyone looks at least 5/10 years younger than their real age. It is a joke!!
My boyfriend is 4 years older than me (I am 26 and he is 30) but I think I look older than him and this “age gap” is only gonna get bigger and bigger overtime. Sigh.
Mmmm, it might come to a halt someday. I do think Western women look younger than most Asian women after menopause :D
I have a babyface, so people don’t really know how old I look. I remember one woman said to me, “Wait till you hit your 30’s. You will be wearing more than just a little make up!” I looked at her and said, “I am not wearing any make up at all and I’m 32 years old.” She got up and walked away. Even people who try to be an ass and guess a really high number to act as if I am aging badly still guess lower than my actual age. Huge fail.
My mother-in-law looks much younger than her age. She is at least 75 but she looks like she is only 50. xD
Haha, she surely deserved that answer. I never wear make up either, I don’t even know how to apply it!
Jiji, pobre chavala, la de Henan. Son unos cotillas, se merecen eso y mucho más.
Al principio no daba pie con bolo, pero ahora, más o menos adivino. Me acuerdo que de niña, me pensaba que las monjas de mi cole tenían 30 años (unas viejas), pero en realidad, tenían 60…
Cuando éramos pequeñas, 30 años era matusalén, o más, jajaja…
Yes, sun exposure ages you, for sure. But so does smoking!
Also grey hair at an early age. Once guys started guessing I was thirty when I was only twenty-five and greying, I gave into vanity and colored my hair.
Shameful, but at least people now think I am younger than my real age.
Gaining a little weight is also helpful. It plumps out the wrinkles in your face. :)
@Autumn – Smoking indeed ages a person. We take a family photo every Chinese New Year’s Eve with my husband’s family and last year, I posted it on facebook. My aunt thought my husband was the youngest [he is the second youngest] and she thought my husband’s youngest brother was the oldest [but there is about a seven year age gap between the oldest brother and the youngest.] It is because he is a heavy smoker.
Agreed regarding smoking! I’m glad I have never even tried a cigarette…
I am finding a lot of grey hairs lately. Waaaah :_(
If you lived in LA, I’d give you the name of my stylist. She’s great with grey!
Also, I am sure the grey hairs are from C’s parents. Oh, wait, no, I’m thinking of the grey hairs I got from Andy’s parents…
I think it can be hard to guess, especially with Chinese women as they stay out of the son and often age well (in my opinion). I recently was mistaken for a man by a Chinese security guard. I was once mistaken for my friend’s mother (in the US). Who knows if people are blind or what? I definitely don’t look like a guy or old enough to be a 30-year-old’s mom. . . so I just try to laugh it off!
Hahaha, it must be they have bad sight… I don’t see how you could be mistaken for a man or a (at least) 50 year old woman…
Well, I am sure you remember the post I wrote about my husband getting IDed in Las Vegas and the waiter checking the edges of his passport to see if was a fake.
I agree with Mabel and Autumn, as noted above.
Yes, that was very funny, hahaha. I would be forever happy if that happened to me :D
You two DO look quite young. Not 18, but maybe 23? Haha.
That story with the Sweden guy is really cute. I would love to look 15 years younger!!
I love that comment about Xinjiang too, haha. Everyone in China thought I was from Xinjiang. I love C’s cover story–selling jade? lol.
He also mentioned something about 羊肉串. Everything was so stereotypical she must have known he was joking, hahaha.
I’ve reached the age where ‘guessing ages’ is no longer fun or funny because I’ve suddenly started looking my age :P It’s okay though. You learn to accept it. And no, I don’t like guessing people’s ages…too touchy and the room for possibly insulting someone is too great of a risk.
When I am asked to guess I always say less than what I really think… I prefer being mistaken to being rude, hahaha.
Yep, guessing ages can be hard. Especially in Japan. People look younger than their age, at least to me.
Many Asian people seem to have an anti-ageing secret! Maybe it has to do with their aversion to sun exposure? xD
I’m sure that helps keeping them look young!
I think it’s easier to guess the age of people who are close to your own age. When they’re much older or younger, it can be hard to judge.
I like the beach picture. You make a good couple.
Did you ever tell the masseuse you were teasing her?
I told her (but my voice was muffled by the massage bed), and I laughed out loud several times, so maybe in the end she was just pretending to believe it, hehe. Or maybe she was really believing it! Some Chinese people are very naive :)
This is so true – my Chinese fiance’s parent’s think I am 5 years older than I am thanks to pale skin that shows up every little line! The fact that he is going bald helps to compensate for his naturally youthful looking skin and makes him look closer to his age but I suspect he will look pretty much the same 10 years from now which certainly won’t be the case for me!
Not much we can do about it! But everything will change when we are around 50… our men will start looking like grandpas and we will still be fabulous haha :P
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