Christmas gifts suggestions from Taobao

Christmas is almost here! Did you finish buying presents for your family and friends? What are you saying? You ran out of ideas and are on the brink of despair because you don’t know what to buy? Fret not! My Official and Definitive List of Christmas Gifts from Taobao is here to save the day! I have suggestions for everybody!

For your girlfriend/wife:

The love of your life (or of these days) deserves the best! She is surely a fashionable lady who likes the latest trends coming out of Asia. Here I present you the absolute must-have for this winter season! Directly from the streets of Shanghai… the furry sequin uggs!

lentejuelas

 

For your boyfriend/husband:

Your partner in crime is working hard all day, earning money to buy you amazing gifts! (like the sequin uggs). Return the favour and get him something that he can use in the office, that will be beneficial for his health, and that will also bring him some visual joy in his lonely mornings… the mouse pad with boobs! (A best-seller in my office. All the guys have it. Don’t be the last to buy one!).

It is actually very comfy.

It is actually very comfy.

 

For your best friend:

Remember when you were teenagers and started hating everything pink and girly? The worst of it all was that nasty Hello Kitty. She was everywhere! Well, now you can present your best friend with the gift of revenge… with this Hello Kitty toilet paper she can wipe her ass in Hello Kitty’s face! What do you think of that, Kitty? Now you are not so cute and white any more!

papel hello kitty

 

For your parents-in-law:

Winter is coming and many women have bad blood circulation, so we always have cold hands and feet. This foot warmer is a double present: for your mother-in-law, as she won’t have cold feet any more, and for your father-in-law, as he won’t have to suffer having his wife’s frozen feet in the bed never again. Win-win!

I actually have one of this, C. gave it to me yesterday :D

I actually have one, C. gave it to me yesterday :D

 

For that friend that cannot accept that she is getting older:

She graduated school a long time ago but she still insists on buying dolls and wearing like a Japanese lolita. Well, she will love you forever and ever with these cute cartoon stockings! She can get a matching outfit herself, as that must be pretty expensive and you are not that close anyway.

medias

 

For your pet:

Cats and dogs love wearing festive clothes! They will be so grateful you remembered them and bought them these Santa Claus costumes. Look at their faces! They are full of joy!

I would never do this to you, you know.

I would never do this to you, you know.

I hope you enjoyed decorating your Christmas tree, human. I am going to destroy it right now.

I hope you enjoyed decorating your Christmas tree, human. I am going to destroy it right now.

 

Aaaah, what would we do without Taobao?

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