My Chinese father-in-law
When we talk about our Chinese in-laws, our dear mother-in-laws are usually the protagonists. I am sure you are all familiar with Momzilla, and with Timo’s crazy MIL. Autumn is maybe the only one that sometimes puts her FIL on the spotlight (he truly deserves it, hehe). I have written about my Chinese MIL before (and it is one of my most viewed posts ever), but my FIL has never been properly introduced on this blog. It’s time to put an end to that!
C.’s father has a small convenience store in the alley where he lives. He mainly sells drinks and cigarettes to the neighbourhood people, mainly old people and migrant workers. He sits in the store all day, watching dvds on a portable dvd player, listening to the radio or chatting with the passersby. Before, he used to be a sales representative for a Chinese watch brand, so when C. was a kid he went to many places in China with his parents. But when foreign brands started coming to China, this watch factory couldn’t cope with the competition and had to close, so he lost his job.
When people see C. and his dad together, they always say that C. resembles his father. So I know what I will have to face when we get old! Their physical resemblance is truly remarkable: before C. got his braces almost 2 years ago, even their teeth were extremely similar (in a bad way).
Every time we go see him at the store, he always wants to give me some drink, ice cream or snack. Other times he wants to give us a potted plant (the plants and animals market is at the end of their alley) or frozen dumplings. The first word I learned in Suzhou dialect was “fie”, which means “I don’t want (that)” [like bu yao in Mandarin] because that is what C. always replies…
If he is not in the store, you can probably find him playing mahjong with some neighbours. He loves dogs and is very fond of Nico. He can cook some dishes (and often puts too much salt for my taste) and doesn’t own a mobile phone. His Mandarin has a strong Suzhou accent and sometimes I can’t understand when he speaks.
C.’s father is always smoking and when we go to a restaurant he always brings his own alcohol, 黄酒 huangjiu or yellow rice wine (bringing your own drinks is acceptable in many restaurants in China). When there is a special occasion, like Chinese New Year, he likes wearing his gold watch and ring. We joke and tell him he looks like a mafia boss.
How is your relationship with your father-in-law?
C’s dad really does look like a mafia boss in the last photo. Not shy of flashing his bling at fancy occasions! My relatives who run grocery shops in Malaysia are like C’s dad, always giving me free drinks and ice-cream whenever I come to visit their shop. Really, it is always ice-cream first :D
Chinese people love a good old bling, hehe. I’m not very fond of yellow gold…
We usually go to see him after eating so I almost never eat anything from his store. But in the summer I accept ice cream some times, he he.
Haha he really looks like a Maria boss in the pic! Next time C should dress up the same way :D
It is truly amazing how similar father and son look like, rarely see something like that before. I don’t know how my relationship with FIL is as he is soo quiet always, sometimes he doesn’t even speak to his daughter for a few days because …well he has just nothing to talk about. Just busy cleaning whole day and playing table tennis I guess. I really should write another post about him soon :)
Yeah I remember you wrote a post about him saying that he doesn’t speak much. My FIL also doesn’t talk a lot. I guess their wives speak for them? xD
The wives of them are just too talkative and don’t give their husbands any chance :)
His store reminds me of one that my aunt has in Thailand. And how I can pretty much have my pick of anything in there. Chips please! And before I even read what you wrote, I could see the father – son resemblance. It’s uncanny! ;)
At least I know that C. won’t get bald or have a belly when he gets old, ha ha.
Your FIL sounds so cool! My WahWah doesn’t talk much, and I haven’t seen him since our wedding day so can’t say much about him :(
Oh wow! He doesn’t want to visit, like Momzilla does? Or is he busy with work?
works 18h/7 days a week since he’s on a high position, sometimes has business trips but he hates going on them because he would have to stop smoking for a while at the airplane haha
A lovely intro of your Chinese FIL.
My FiL rarely talks directly to me, always asks questions to my husband or my MiL about me. Probably because he doesn’t think my Chinese is good enough yet. He’s very traditional and is apparently thrilled my husband and I have both just got well-paid jobs in Beijing, but hasn’t said anything to me :-|
Congrats for the jobs!! I think older Chinese people, especially men, have a hard time expressing their feelings. Maybe you could try to make small talk with him, so he gradually sees that he can talk to you?
Jealous.
Funny and interesting post. I have drank that yellow rice wine at a big banquet in Zhejiang Police College. OMG. So hungover.
Yes, it is very dangerous because it is very sweet and you keep drinking and drinking xD
Hey, thanks for the shout out! Very kind. More FIL stories are coming…their first visit to our house was, um, something. Something unprintable, really.
Your FIL seems very nice. For a mafia boss!
Well you know how those things are, mafia bosses are always good to their families xD
Looks nice!
“The glasses are fake. The gold is real.”
LOL. Sounds like some catchphrase for a commercial.
I will consider starting a career in marketing :D
Haha, I agree that was funny!
Hmm… “fie”… I wonder what is the Chinese word. Maybe it is Suzhou’s pronunciation of “bie” 别?
I asked C. It is literally “bu yao”. Bu is pronounced “fu” and yao is “ye”. So when you say it fast, you pronounce both words together and it sounds like “fieee”, hahaha.
Nothing and a whole lot of it. That’s what I talk to my FIL about. He’s maybe said 10 words to me my whole life, all in response to questions that I have asked. MIL and the rest of the in law family are a totally different story. They’re fairly cool and always give me beer at every meal (and ask when we’re going to have a baby every few days.)
Can’t really complain because silence and beers is a pretty sweet deal. Sure beats most of the relationships I ever had with former girlfriends parents. Language and cultural barriers can be a beautiful thing.
Your FIL looks like a real character – in the best possible way. Love the watch and glasses photo. Not to hard to imagine absmoke and a glass of yellow wine added to the equation.
Yes, I agree. Language barriers can be a blessing sometimes, haha.
I think there definitely was a glass of yellow wine in the mafia boss picture, must have been a few more centimetres away from his hand!
Hahaha me encantó la última foto!! Y oye si, por lo que veo se parecen bastante :) en mi caso mi pololo también se parece bastante a su padre, que bueno, nos sirve de referencia hahaha.
El dialecto debe ser tan difícil! Mi pololo ya me advirtió que su papá casi sólo habla en Henan Hua :( su mamá (la cual conocí, al papá aún no lo conozco) habla en mandarín sin problemas así que pude comunicarme con ella, pero con el papá no se cómo pueda comunicarme haha.
Saludos!
Mmmm no sé cómo es el Henan hua, pero seguro que algo podrá entender de mandarín! Aunque solo sea de ver la televisión! Si no, tu pololo tendrá que hacer de intérprete, jaja. Es lo que hace mi novio cuando vamos a ver su abuela…
Pololo? Me encanta la pronunciación de esta palabra ! En cuanto al Henan dialecto, es parecido a la Putonghua, tú debes entender. Por otro lado, Suzhou/shanghai dialectos son asesinatos, verdad Marta?
Alas no FIL for me – partner’s father passed away when he was 11… but MIL? Of could tell many tales of this remarkable woman that has her own ‘fan club!’ :-)
He he, I would be delighted to hear those MIL stories!
Perhaps one of these days I’ll be brave enough to share! :-) The best tribute would be if I could capture some of her culinary secrets too!
The reason why we do not write about our FILs is probably because they are not as weird as our MILs. :D
I also have a few FIL-stories on my list, so if you want one, I’ll pull them out from behind for you haha.
Time stopped for my FIL 30 years ago, so interacting with him always feels ancient to me. I also never had a normal conversation with him, because he doesn’t speak English or German and I do not understand his strange Fujian accent at all. :(
So, if he can’t speak German, he only communicates with other Chinese people in Austria? :/
Would love to read some of his stories :D
Yeah, lived here for 25 years but only ever interacted with other Chinese. Couldn’t even go see a doctor by himself. He’s moved back to HK last year.
I’ll devote my next FIL post to you :D
I meant to comment last week, but I forgot! The first thing I thought was C looks more like his Mum than his Dad! Height and build he’s like his dad. Facial features his mum. But there are sunglasses involved in the said photo.
I read your mum in law post and she sound’s like a sweet mum in law! And bring you own alcohol? That would and will never catch on in Europe ;)
When he was a kid he definitely looked like his mum (https://martalivesinchina.wordpress.com/2015/06/29/childhood-pictures-asia-vs-europe/) but now even she says he looks like his dad, haha.
Super cool FIL! He looks like a pretty chill guy. Seems like you get along with him as well as MIL, lucky!
Yeah, we have a good relationship. I think mainly because they don’t interfere with our lives, hahaha.
Your FIL seems quite a character!
Your husband and your FIL do resemble each other! It’s crazy.