There’s a man in China that does everything

There’s a song from the middle of the noughties called “There’s a man in Spain” and the lyrics are very cryptic. They go like this:

There’s a man in Spain that does everything,
there’s a man that does everything in Spain.
He’s the one that writes the songs in the radio,
he’s the one that serves your drinks and sells you the newspaper.

There’s a man in Spain that does everything,
there’s a man that does everything in Spain.
He’s the one that does the hem on your trousers,
he was the priest who gave you your first communion.

There’s a man in Spain that does everything,
there’s a man that does everything in Spain.
He’s the one who writes all those books,
he’s the most read literary critic.

I’ll sum up the rest of the lyrics: he was the visionary genius who invented Cola Cao [powder to make chocolate milk], he’s the owner of Forlasa [a Spanish cheese company], he’s the Secretary of State, he’s the one that puts anchovies inside olives, he’s the Infanta’s lover (of more than one), he translates the articles from Le Monde Diplomatique, he’s a cashier at Ikea, he’s the moron who decides who gets a scholarship…

After this song was released, some people were wondering who the song was talking about, but it was never clear. Why am I suddenly talking about this song? Because, if it was Chinese, the man it is talking about would clearly be the current president, Xi Jinping.

Xi Jinping eating baozis in a normal restaurant, like a normal person.

Right now, in China, you get the impression that all the development and advances the country has achieved in the past few decades are thanks to Xi Jinping. The difference with the previous presidents is quite big, this one has a solitary protagonism that was not seen since the 70s or 80s. It seems as if everything was done by him in person. China is going to be the biggest economic power in the world? It’s thanks to Xi Jinping, who is encouraging the country’s economy all by himself. China already has millions of kilometers of high speed railways? It’s because Xi Jinping is laying the tracks himself. The air in Beijing is visibly less polluted? It’s because Xi Jinping went in person to close to polluting factories and rides his bike to the office every day.

Xi Jinping picking pomelos.

Xi Jinping winning the World Cup.

Xi Jinping reviewing the troops.


His “thoughts” or political theory officially called “Xi Jinping Thought on Socialism with Chinese Characteristics for a New Era” (you can read a summary of the contents here) were made part of the official doctrine of the Chinese Communist Party, together with the thoughts from Mao Zedong and Deng Xiaoping. There are huge propaganda banners on the streets mentioning his thoughts and every day in the newspaper cover there is a box where they are mentioned and I guess some part is explained in depth (I’m not sure because I don’t read it). His name usually appears several times on the newspaper cover, by the way. I can’t help but comparing this with the Spanish situation: our president is not featured on the cover every day. But it could also be because our president is an uninteresting and charisma-less blob who doesn’t do anything at all.

Also, as I’m sure you’ve heard, a couple of months ago the Chinese Congress removed the presidential term limit that had been in place since 1982. Coincidentally, when Xi Jinping is president! Such good luck! Let’s see what the future holds. Will we see Xi’s face on Tiananmen Square or on the yuan bills? Only time will tell!