The professional interrogator
I have started to suspect that the neighbour who lives in the 5th floor of my building, a middle aged lady, is a professional interrogator trained by the CIA or the KGB.
Every time I happen to share the elevator with her, she always has time to ask some questions during the few seconds of the ride. At first she didn’t say much and was afraid of Nico. After a few months, seeing that Nico didn’t eat anyone yet and that I could speak Chinese, she started shooting. I don’t remember what she asked at the very beginning. I guess they were the usual questions, like “Where are you from” and “Which floor do you live in“. I noticed her detective skills when her questions turned more and more specific.
“I see there is something wrong with you!”
– Are you renting, or did you buy the apartment?: this is a key question in China. Respectable people buy; only losers rent. With this question she wants to assess our status and confirm if she will be seeing us in the long term. After I replied we had bought it, she stored this new piece of information in her hard disk and the next time she saw me (after a few weeks), she asked:
– When did you buy your apartment? I thought she just wanted to know when we had moved to this compound, but I was wrong. When I told her the month and year, she did a quick calculation and declared: At that moment the price was XXX per square meter, you bought when it was already expensive. I was not sure if she was implying that we are rich or stupid, and I told her at that time the price was cheaper than what it is now anyway.
Having satisfied her curiosity on the real estate front, this morning she started asking questions on two new topics. First she said: “You are not working today?“. It was a bit after 8 am, and I told her I was starting work a bit later. A few weeks ago she told me she had started working at a hotel, so I’m glad she’s not around all day to check my every move! Then she asked: “Is your child in your hometown?“. Notice how she didn’t ask first if I have a child, she just assumed I do. “I don’t have any children”, I told her. Then she said: “Having children a bit later is fine“. This woman’s a handful, hahaha. I am dreading what her next question will be!
She could totally be part of the Chaoyang Masses, a group of people living in Chaoyang district, Beijing, who entertain themselves keeping an eye on their neighbours and reporting to the police any suspicious activity in the district. Don’t look down on them, they became famous after several famous actors and singers were arrested for taking drugs, hiring prostitutes and other charges thanks to their tip-offs! You can read a hilarious article about the Chaoyang Masses here. But not only Beijing has these people, they are all over China! Sometimes they can be recognised because they wear a red arm band with the word volunteer or something similar, but I think other times they go incognito to catch people unguarded. So if you have anything to hide, better be careful! And don’t trust those smiling ayis
The Chaoyang Masses are ready for inspection! Pic from here.
So funny! I have huge memories about these kind of things. If you have Chinese relatives, they always ask you how much you earn and how much you saved.
When I told them that I don’t save much money they began to judge me, and say it is bad to enjoy life when you are young instead of working hard bla bla bla…
When I was in Beijing, a taxi driver asked me how much I earned. When I told him I was a student, he then asked how much my dad earned hahaha.
Saving for retirement is wise indeed, but you also have to enjoy your life… if not, what’s the point of it all? xD
Haha, she does sound quite nosey asking those questions. If anyone asked me those questions, even my neighbour, I’d try to get out of their sight as soon as possible! Have you tried asking her any questions about herself? She sounds like the kind who likes to ask around but not share much about herself.
I don’t ask many questions because I’m honestly not interested in people’s lives haha. However once I asked her if she had got a new job, as the supermarket downstairs she used to work at closed, and she told me about the hotel job.
Got to say… Italians are the same way, loads of questions. It’s just how they are. This was amusing, It is annoying when you were looking forward to a quiet ride in the elevator. I found that reversing the questions on them quiets them down.
Exactly, turn the interrogation to a conversation by being a nosey person yourself, ask a question for everyone you answer. If they are genuinely interested Vs nosey, they will answer thoroughly.
Very well written.
I never know what to ask xD I don’t care if she has kids or how much her apartment cost haha!
Hahaha! I haven’t been in Italy much. Interesting similarity xD
I come from an Italian family, so what you wrote sounds so similar to how my Italian family talks and asks questions. Don’t the Spanish ask a lot of questions?
Mmm, at least in my family, questions never get too uncomfortable. I was never asked how much I earn or how much our apartment cost! And strangers in an elevator would definitely never ask these things!
Hahaha, my new neighbor is a nosy lady too! She keeps asking me when exactly I:m moving in and when my mother will come for a visit. Soon, I’ll start getting next level nosy questions once I actually move in.
Let me see…I think you’re going to get the how much money do you make question next. She’s starting to pin down your financials :)
What? She wants to meet your mother? Maybe she wants to rat on your bad behaviour haha.
Haha, not quite. My lady is quite pregnant and due in a few months (exciting times) and I think I’m being judged on if I come from a good family (because MILs MUST live with their sons!)
Oh, I see. Congratulations!! A mini Zhou is on the way! :D
Oh yeah that is something I experienced in Germany :D
One neighbour didnt talk to us for the first months and suddenly she starting asking me stuff and it was getting more and more specific like where my parents were born etc
Maybe she wanted to check if your families knew each other centuries ago xD
Everyone around here wants to know when we bought our house. Probably because if we bought at the right time, the value has doubled.
Of course the value will probably plummet in a year or two, when the next mortgage crisis occurs.
But why do they care if it is more valuable now? It’s not like they will make the decision to sell or earn anything in the process!
I think it’s a competition. The earlier you bought your house in our neighborhood, the bigger the profit when you sell. Maybe the older neighbors want to lord their hypothetical profit margin over us? Maybe they are bored.
Oh Jezus! Maybe she’s just trying to be nice………..
This neighbour is actually ok haha. She doesn’t feel like the usual annoying lady.
:)
I noticed a similar thing among Asian ladies in the Philippines. They liked to ask how much I paid for my carrots or shrimp or shoes or whatever. Sometimes I lied and told them it was cheaper than it was because I knew that no matter how much I said I paid, the woman would shake her head and say I paid too much. She got it much cheaper.
Oh, they do that here too! It makes me feel like I’m stupid. But their trick is that they get up very early and go to some wholesale wet market super far away and things are way cheaper there. But saving 10 kuai (1.5 USD) is not worth 3 hours of my time, haha.
I can only imagine your thoughts every time you see Aiyi Marta. Ha ha. I shall read your link thank you for supplying it. I recall a post some time ago when you mentioned Chinese in your building that were afraid of Nico. Good to see they are realising he won’t eat them.
Some of them still do. I get very annoyed when they try to “shield” their kids. Hello, my dog is not interested at all in approaching your kid, and even if she did, she would not bite him. You should be more worried about driving your baby around in an electric bike or having people smoke right next to him… which is still perfectly acceptable here!
How true!!!
Hahaha que risa tu post Marta! me encantó! Ufff a mi menos mal que nunca me han tocado preguntas tan tan tan personales pero si tengo bien claro como son los chinos preguntando este tipo de cosas, sobretodo las mujeres mayores hahaha. Si incluso en otros países las señoras ya son bien chismosas, en China llegan a un nivel impresionante. Estoy muy impresionada que esta señora no haya quedado de una piedra cuando le dijiste que no tenías hijos hahaha :P Saludos!
¿En serio nunca te han preguntado algo del tipo cuánto ganas? A los taxistas de Beijing les encanta preguntarlo, jajaja.
Menos mal que no hahaha quizás porque siempre ando con mi novio?
You sure it’s not my Momzilla? She has that calculator in her head, always counting money :D
It could be! Maybe she tells you she’s in Shanghai but she’s in Suzhou! After all, it’s very close xD
she’s like ninja :D it’s in their blood, when I first visited Sing’s outside grandma, the next day all the neighbours had their doors open waiting for us to arrive – I kid you not!
She sounds quite irritating. Maybe you can turn the tables and try asking her about her affairs as well.
Haha, I find her quite funny, more than irritating. She always surprises me with her weird questions! I never know what to ask people xD
That is alright then as long as you don’t mind her. I figure you can turn the tables on her and ask her a few of her own questions.
SCARY!! Chaoyang masses!!!
I can’t believe she knew the square meter price of your apartment a few years ago, haha. Chinese people never fail to impress me with real estate knowledge.